Don’t Miss This If You’re Grieving This Holiday Season
The holidays can stir up a lot. Joy and excitement, yes… but also sometimes grief or dread. That quiet ache that sits just below the surface.
If you’re missing someone this season, or if your heart feels tender for any reason, know this:
You don’t have to force yourself to feel merry. You don’t have to pretend. You don’t have to “get over it.”
Below are a few gentle reminders to carry with you through the season.
1️⃣ It’s okay to have conflicting feelings.
You might feel excited and sad. Grateful and bitter. Anticipation and dread.
Two completely opposite emotions can be true at the same time — and both deserve space.
Grief has a way of complicating joy, and joy has a way of softening grief. There’s no rulebook for how you’re supposed to feel this time of year.
2️⃣ It’s okay to feel your feelings.
If you’re not in the holiday spirit, that’s okay. (If you are in the holiday spirit, that’s okay too!)
Let yourself be where you are — without judgment.
Feelings don’t need to be fixed; they just need to be felt.
3️⃣ Surround yourself with people who have the capacity to hear you and support you.
Not everyone understands grief. Not everyone knows how to hold it. And that’s not your fault (or theirs).
However, it does help to be intentional about who you spend time with.
Be aware when you’re around people who make you feel more like yourself. Some people just have a better, more intuitive ability to be able to hear you. Some people might help you feel like it’s okay to have the feelings that you do. This is great: try to be around these people.
On the other hand:
Notice when you’re around people who don’t make you feel good, or people around who you feel pressure to perform or “cheer up.” Take notice of when this happens, so you can lessen these interactions during the holiday season.
Being around people who truly have the capacity to support you can make the holidays feel a little more manageable.
4️⃣ Tend to your own needs.
You’re allowed to say no. You’re allowed to rest. You’re allowed to protect your energy.
Say it with me!
Do what feels good to you.
Put your needs first — even if that means breaking tradition, even if others don’t understand. You do not owe anyone your presence at the expense of your peace.
5️⃣ Reach out for support when you want it.
A lot of us feel very independent, and we all take on more than we need to (sometimes).
So here’s a reminder: You don’t have to be falling apart to ask for help. You don’t have to “need” something in order to want support.
Sometimes, you just want to feel seen and held by someone else. And you deserve that. Always.