What I wish I was taught about Grieving During the Holidays
Holiday grief and anxiety are not something our society talks about often.
But just because we don't talk about these things... doesn't mean these things don’t exist.
If you're feeling triggered, anxious, overwhelmed, lonely or isolated around the holidays: please know that you are not alone. Grief doesn’t go on pause just because the calendar flips to December. In fact, the holidays can magnify what already feels hard to carry.
You might look around and feel like everyone else is happy and connected, and wish you could be there too.
But it’s OK to feel differently. It’s OK not to be there. I see you.
Remember these 3 tips you can use to help create safety and space for yourself this weekend:
1️⃣ DESIGNATE A SAFE PERSON TO HAVE YOUR BACK.
Do you have a close friend (or family member) who you can reach out to for support? Reach out to them BEFORE you head into the weekend, and give them a heads up that you may need their support over the next few days.
Ask them if they can be a support and listening ear for you, in case you need to reach out.
Be specific. Let them know what kind of support you might want (someone to listen? / validation? / affirmation?) so they are clear on how to have your back.
Do you need someone just to listen?
Do you need validation and affirmation?
Do you need a distraction or an excuse to leave a situation?
Clarity helps your person show up for you.
Even if you don’t end up needing this person, just knowing you have that lifeline available can make a huge difference.
2️⃣ GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO LEAVE IF YOU WANT TO.
Seriously, why are we forcing ourselves to be in situations that make us feel shitty?
You do not owe anyone your presence at the expense of your peace. If the holiday gathering feels suffocating, if someone says something that hits a nerve, or if you just need space to breathe, give yourself permission to leave.
Give yourself permission to exit the room or even just step outside for some air, if that's what feels good in the moment.
That might look like:
Stepping outside, literally, for fresh air
Finding a quiet room to regroup
Saying a polite but firm goodbye and heading home
Let's normalize making space for ourselves -- and taking the space WE desire, rather than just sucking it up and doing what other people expect from us.
And lastly…
3️⃣ GET YOURSELF SUPPORT & COMMUNITY. YOU CAN FIND IT RIGHT HERE.
Everything feels better when you have someone else who gets what you’re going through.
On the second Monday
Enrollment is open now: don’t wait. Sign up to make sure YOU have support during the hardest times of the year.