What’s the Difference Between Therapy and Grief Work?
Have you ever tried to talk about your grief... and just felt like:
Talking about your feelings felt so hard and difficult, you couldn’t even find the words, or didn’t even know where to begin?
Talking about your feelings just wasn’t enough… You really wish there was something you could do with your grief after leaving a safe space?
If you relate to these feelings, this post is for you. You are in the right place.
Let’s talk about what to do with your grief. Let’s talk about how you can begin to feel better.
But before all that – let’s talk about what grief work is, the difference between therapy and grief work, and why engaging in both can be such a meaningful part of the healing process.
What Is the Difference Between Therapy and Grief Work?
You may already be familiar with therapy, which is a beautiful and powerful tool. The therapy container is really about making space to be witnessed and held in the feelings and experiences of your life: past, present and future; – grief or otherwise. You can bring your grief in. You can talk about grief. And ideally, what happens in the therapy container ripples out into your life beyond.
Grief work is a bit different, in that it is a space specifically dedicated to you, to your loss or losses, and to the impact(s) they’ve had on you and your broader system. In some cases, grief work may focus somatically, exploring what’s happening in your body, heart, and soul when you are grieving a death, an ending, or a goodbye. It also may involve storytelling of the before, during, after- even sometimes the roots and lineage wayyyy before, and the legacy left long after. Grief work often involves working with the grief itself, and the support system that holds you, but also involves working with the relationship too that you had with what you lost. Where did you leave things when it ended? Was there closure? Rupture? Repair? Healing? Meaning Making?
Grief work can also incorporate spirituality, religious or not, it can involve ritual or ceremony creation, it could involve identifying ways to stay connected to the person or thing you’ve lost in ways that serve you, or even to stay connected with the lessons and ways they impacted and/or grew you, if continued relationship isn’t possible.
Something people don’t always expect, at least in my work, is the ways that Grief work can be quite hands-on. This can include tools: relationship timelines, letter writing, book recommendations, podcasts, rituals. It’s the tangible stuff you can do on your own – the stuff you’re craving. The “doing” of something.
As one of my grief work clients said:
“It’s really helpful to have something to actually DO with my grief.”
There’s also something sacred about being witnessed in grief. That “me too” moment. That moment where your pain is met with presence—not pity. That’s a huge part of grief work- the being with. And this is why grief work can also take place in group settings, bringing together the community. You are part of the collective.
As both a therapist and grief counselor, I always say that there is value in doing both.
At the end of the day: we live in a culture that is quite grief averse.
That means a lot of people avoid doing this work, or walk around feeling like they don’t know what to do with their grief. And that can spark a longing for someone who does—for someone who can help answer the question:
“What do I do now?”
What Would I Say to Someone in Philadelphia Wondering If They’re Ready for Therapy or Grief Work?
You’ll probably never feel “ready.”
When people say “I’m not ready,” it’s usually fear. Fear of being overwhelmed. Fear of making things worse. Fear of sitting with the very thing that’s breaking your heart.
But here’s what I tell my clients: You’re already hurting. The hard thing already happened.
Starting grief work isn’t about making yourself suffer more. It’s about choosing to stop trying to hold it all alone and finding ways to make the suffering more manageable and less overwhelming.
Grief work is not about forcing change—it’s about being with what’s there, in a way that feels manageable and honors your capacity.
You don’t have to be “okay” to begin. You just have to be willing to be with what’s true, and to begin somewhere.
And if you’re feeling resistance? Honor that. Resistance is often your nervous system protecting you. It doesn’t mean you’re not ready—it means you deserve to move at a pace that feels safe.
How To Find Grief Support?
Honestly? It’s hard to know where to look.
I hear things like:
“I haven’t even grieved my mom.”
“I should really make more space for this.”
“Life just swept me back up after it happened.”
And you’re right. Life doesn’t pause for grief. We plan the funeral. We take care of the kids. We go back to work. And often, the end of the logistics becomes the end of the grieving.
Then months—or years—later, you realize you’ve never actually honored what happened or the relationship that was lost. You’re still carrying it. But you haven’t done anything with it.
That’s where grief work comes in. To help you reconnect with that thread, and start weaving a new story.
What Are Some Specific Ways to Engage in Grief Work?
Here are a few of the ways I support people in grief work:
🟣 Grief Groups
These are for folks who want that “me too” energy. Who want to be surrounded by people who get it. It can be deeply affirming just to hear someone say something you’ve felt but didn’t have the words for.
🟣 1:1 Grief Work
This is for people with complicated grief histories, or people who want more individualized support. It’s tailored. It’s personal. You can even bring your people into it (a partner, a friend, someone who’s supporting you), and explore how they’re supporting you—or how you’re supporting them.
🟣 Legacy Love
This is for people who want to move through a proven process for grief support, meaning making, and relationship healing, and tried and true transformation of your relationship to your grief and a person you’ve lost. This is a set course that is also tailored specifically to meet you where you are at where you will leave more confident in how to hold your grief, create closure and resolution in the relationship with a person you’ve lost and define the legacy you want to carry forward in their honor. This is beginner friendly, yet thorough for those looking to be held and guided the whole way through.
🟣 Books and Podcasts
The Wild Edge of Sorrow – dense, beautiful, poetic
The Smell of Rain on Dust – explores grief in cultures that aren’t grief averse
It’s OK That You’re Not OK – permission to feel what you feel
Gettting Real with Grief Podcast – a soft entry point for people dipping their toes in
Final Thoughts
You don’t need to be “ready” in a capital-R way. You just need to be curious. You just need to be open to being with yourself, in this moment.
Whether you join a group or reach out for 1:1 grief therapy, your grief deserves a sacred space to land. Not to fix it. But to tend to it.
🕊️ Interested in joining a monthly grief group or exploring 1:1 grief support?