A Mother's Day Letter for the Ones Holding It All
Motherhood is a wild, wondrous, heartbreaking, heart-expanding ride. If you're reading this and feeling like you're both overflowing and running on empty—this letter is for you.
To the moms holding newborns and the ones holding memories…
To the ones reparenting themselves while parenting their kids…
To the ones who have lost, longed, loved, and kept going—
This is your Mother’s Day letter.
Motherhood Anxiety is Real—and You're Not Alone
Let’s just name it: motherhood anxiety is a thing. A real, valid, completely human thing.
It can start before there’s even a baby. Before there’s even a pregnancy. The pull toward motherhood can bring its own weight. “Am I ready? Will it happen for me? What if it doesn’t?” And then if it does—"What now?"
There’s anxiety in the planning, the waiting, the trying. There’s anxiety in the oh my god I’m pregnant already and the why hasn’t it happened yet?
Then comes pregnancy, birth, postpartum—and let’s not sugarcoat it: it’s all a crapshoot. Some days feel like magic. Others, like survival. You’re expected to be joyful while your body is changing, your relationships are shifting, and your identity is turning inside out. Forever.
Grief and Joy Can Coexist (And Usually Do)
What we don’t talk about enough is how deeply grief lives inside motherhood.
There’s the grief of miscarriage (which happens far more often than we’re told), the grief of complicated births, of postpartum depression, of identity loss, of friendships that fall away. There's grief in watching your child grow—yes, even that. Because every milestone is also a goodbye.
What helps? Awareness. Naming the shifts. Honoring the endings as much as the beginnings. Creating space to say: I love my child AND I miss my old life. Both can be true. Both are true for most of us.
Motherhood Advice You Didn’t Ask For (But Might Need)
Let’s skip the Pinterest-worthy productivity hacks and go with this instead:
You’re allowed to feel all the things. Not just gratitude and love, but rage, grief, boredom, and exhaustion.
You don’t have to love every moment. That doesn’t make you a bad mom—it makes you a human mom.
You are the expert of your own experience. You get to define what motherhood means for you.
Ask for help. Accept help. Even when it’s messy. Especially when it’s messy.
Remember who you are. You are still you, not just someone’s mom. Your needs matter, too.
Mother's Day Sayings That Actually Speak to Real Moms
Forget the sappy cards that gloss over everything. This year, let’s say things that land:
“I see you.”
“You’re doing the hardest job in the world with your whole heart.”
“You don’t have to be everything for everyone.”
“I’m here to listen. No fixing, no judging.”
“You matter. Not just as a mother, but as you.”
A Love Letter to You, Mama
This Mother's Day, may you feel held in the fullness of your story. May you be seen not just for what you do but for who you are. May you feel the freedom to grieve and to celebrate—sometimes in the same breath.
And may we continue to expand the conversation around motherhood to include the real, raw, messy, sacred truth:
That love is not one-dimensional.
That joy and sorrow walk hand-in-hand.
That you are worthy—always.
If you're navigating the waves of motherhood and want support learning how to sit with the full range of your emotions—grief, love, anxiety, and everything in between—I offer 1:1 Grief Coaching to help you do just that.
You're not meant to carry it all alone. Learn more here ➝
Or if you’d like to receive more letters like this one in your inbox on motherhood and that complex relationship we all have with grief, you can subscribe here.
With love,
Randi