Grieving Love: When You Miss Someone Who Isn’t Here Anymore
Missing someone you love can feel especially intense during times of year when connection is highlighted. If you find yourself thinking about someone who died, a relationship that ended, or a person who is no longer part of your daily life, you are not alone, and nothing is wrong with you.
Grieving someone you love often shows up as longing. As memories. As moments where you instinctively want to reach for them and remember they’re not there.
That ache is simply love continuing.
When Love Has Nowhere to Go
One of the most painful parts of grief is having love build up inside you with no clear place to put it.
You might notice:
Wanting to text or call them
Replaying memories unexpectedly
Feeling emotional when you see others with the kind of connection you lost
A deep, quiet ache that’s hard to explain
This is a natural part of grieving someone you love. Love does not shut off just because someone is gone. Bonds don’t disappear. They change form.
Grief is often love that no longer has the same place to land.
Missing Someone Who Died Doesn’t Mean You’re “Stuck”
Many people worry that ongoing longing means they aren’t healing “correctly.”
But missing someone who died, or is no longer in your life, is not a failure in the grieving process.
Grief moves in waves and spirals, not straight lines. You can feel steady for months and then suddenly feel the weight of their absence again. This doesn’t erase your growth. It simply means the relationship still matters to you.
Healing doesn’t require forgetting. It often means learning how to carry love differently.
Continuing Bonds: Staying Connected After Loss
Modern grief research often talks about “continuing bonds. “This is the idea that relationships don’t end when someone dies. Instead, we find new ways to stay connected.
That connection might look like:
Talking to them in your thoughts
Lighting a candle on meaningful days
Wearing or keeping something that reminds you of them
Sharing stories about them with someone safe
Writing letters to them
These aren’t signs that you’re dwelling in the past. They are ways your nervous system stays in relationship with someone who mattered deeply.
Continuing bonds can be a healthy and meaningful part of coping with longing after loss.
You Can Miss Them and Still Keep Living
There’s a common myth that we have to choose: either we move forward, or we stay connected.
But grief and love don’t work like that.
You can build a life. You can experience joy. You can grow and change.
And you can still miss someone with your whole heart.
These realities can exist side by side. Missing them doesn’t mean you’re stuck. It means your heart remembers. And that remembering is part of loving.
If This Season Feels Especially Tender
Certain seasons naturally stir grief and love at the same time. When the world emphasizes togetherness, your body may become more aware of who isn’t here. This can happen around holidays, birthdays, nationally recognized moments like Valentines Day or Mother’s Day, or even milestones like graduations and weddings.
If that’s happening for you:
Lower expectations where you can
Make space for rest
Reach out to someone safe
Let yourself feel without rushing to fix it
Identify things that you may want to do to honor them.
Grieving someone you love is not something you have to rush through. Your heart is doing its best to adapt to a new reality while still holding connection. That takes time. And care.
If this kind of longing feels familiar, you don’t have to carry it by yourself. I work with people who are learning how to live with love and loss at the same time.
Through one-on-one grief support, groups, and guided spaces, I work to help you feel like your feelings don’t have to be minimized or rushed. When you’re ready, there are gentle ways to be supported as you continue navigating your relationship with the one you miss.